Of Lilies and Missiles
by RandomNumbers523156
Summary: When Lily gets unwillingly hit on by Bruno, Ritsu Naminé comes in to set the record straight. But, does he really feel like he's worthy enough to be Lily's boyfriend? And somehow Tei sneaks in and Len damns everything.


Lily usually was a chill person. One of her traits was her assertiveness, and that already put her in trouble because of times when she accidentally offended people (like suggesting SeeU to sing Sebonzakura once; although it was a sarcastic remark, IT DID NOT END GOOD). However, saying her mind without regrets was good sometimes.

Like this time.

"I'm sorry, Bruno, but can you repeat what you said?" She said, lowering down the book she was reading. Her expression was of confusion, like she received the news that her canary was on the moon. She had listened to Bruno's proposal while her eyes were focused on Katniss slashing some random mook's throat, so she didn't pay attention to what Bruno said.

"I said," he took down his hat, wearing the same expression he had when he asked first, a flashy grin of his perfect teeth. "Would you like to go out with me?" He had one foot on the bench, with one arm resting over his leg.

"Huh?" Lily muttered, blinking while the rest of her remained immobile.

"Lily," Bruno then sat down the bench and picked her hands up, looking straight at her eyes, "You are as beautiful as the lilies who give your name. I have been astounded by your sweet voice, by your incredible appearance, so much I can't contain my feelings anymore." Then, he picked from his hat a white lily and gave to her.

"Wow," Lily smiled and blushed, while she took the flower. "That's pretty nice… I guess it's pretty nice to be praised from times to times."

"I also have a humble offering," he drew one more thing of his hat. Actually two.

"But these are tickets for the next Guns n' Roses concert!" Lily said, picking the two tickets. "How did you get these and how do you know I like it?"

"A gentleman has his ways." At that moment, Lily realized that sharing a lot of Guns n' Roses videos on her feed might have something to do with it.

"Look, Bruno, I know that's really nice of you," she said, looking to the sides, trying to not look at the tickets on her hand, "But I'm kind of taken…" She looked to the other side, while trying the hardest to not look at the tickets. At that moment, she also realized that she should update her relationship status.

"Oh…" Bruno looked down, while picked the tickets, but then he continued, "But does he have money to take you to their concert?"

"Bruno, I think you shouldn't insist. My boyfriend is really sweet, but has a short temper when something is wrong."

"Oh, please, if he has such a short temper, why don't you ditch him?" He said. Although he made some effort to keep his voice normal, there was a hint of annoyance in it.

"Bruno! Just because my boyfriend has this flaw, it doesn't mean I don't like him!"

"Flaw? What if this 'flaw' gets the worst of you?"

"You don't know him. You're judging him without even knowing him." She crossed her arms and huffed, "Everyone does that!"

"Huh?" Bruno raised an eyebrow. Then he heard steps. Loud steps.

Bruno turned around and saw girl, a bit shorter than him and Lily, in a huge, and rather improper for the weather, dress. She also had a small purple hat on the top of her head. And also, judging by her angry expression, she wasn't happy.

"Ay, who are you?" Bruno asked.

"This is my girlfriend you're talking to!" she said.

"Girlfriend?" Then, she looked at Lily and then at the girl. "My apologies, Lily. I didn't know you swung that way."

"I am a boy, you dumbing dolt!" He said, almost screaming, with his fists balled.

"What?" Bruno said, scratching his head. "I don't…wait, you're that Ritsu-person that everyone was talking about. I didn't know you dressed like that."

"It's what I wear when I'm on stage…" Ritsu crossed his arms and glanced aside, but then looked angrily at him, "And you, what are you doing with Lily?"

"Ritsu, calm down." Lily got up from the bench and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Look, I don't want confusion," Bruno said, showing both hands, "Well, if you like her, you like her. Can I ask why, Lily?"

"Oh, Bruno, they are so many things I could tell you about my Ritsu." Lily said, hugging Ritsu from behind. His angry expression gave place to a more bashful one, and he looked down, hoping no one noticed his cheek becoming a light shade of red. "He's like a giant teddy bear," then she looked above, "If teddy bears had missiles in their tits." She stopped to reflect on the awkwardness of the phrase she just blurted, making Ritsu blushing even harder.

"Tch, at least he's calmer when he's around you." Bruno said, putting on his hat.

Ritsu made a face of someone who rehearsed an angry reaction for months for a play. But then stopped, and hold Lily's hands, and nuzzled his head against hers.

"Alright, you convinced me. Lily, I hope you forgive me for any rudeness I may have shown." Bruno said, smiling.

"Okay, you shouldn't worry about it anymore," then she was serious, "But, you have to change this approach, dammit Bruno!"

"Oh, you shouldn't worry about because if I could make a love triangle, and that would be a wrecktangle. But you two are an item, you should go next Halloween as barcodes. And then you get married, doesn't it have a nice _ring?_" Bruno laughed like a maniac on laughing gas.

"Finish him." Lily ordered. Then Ritsu fired both of his missiles at him.

"AYYY CARAMBA!"

After the explosion, Bruno took off Team Rocket-style: he flew over the skies, with the explosion of hot air serving as an impulse until it turned into a twinkle in the sky.

"I think it's time to go, darling." Lily said, turning to him. But then she saw something different about him. Aside the usual cooling foam his body releases any time he uses the missiles, he seemed sad.

"Ritsu, what's wrong?" She moved a small strand of hair from his forehead.

"I saw that Bruno had two tickets for the next Guns n'Roses show." He said, after sighing. "You love this band, and that guy bought two tickets…" Then he looked at her eyes and said, "When was the last time I gave you something?"

"Eh, last week?" Ritsu gulped. Lily mentally pinched herself for making him remember the bad incident from the last week. "It's okay, Ritsu, it's already past that. Besides, that guy was being a dick anyway, and you made up."

"Still, sometimes I'm afraid in a burst of anger I might hurt you. This is a fear that I never had before…before we started dating..."

"It means you care, silly," Lily said, holding a hand over his cheek, "And if you don't let this flame die, we'll be together for a good time."

"Lily…" Then she embraced him and kissed him on the lips. They remained like that for a good time, not bothering with the comments of others that passed around.

* * *

><p>Maika shared her attention with the kitchen's watch and the bowl of corn over the oven, ready to turn into popcorn.<p>

"Why is Bruno taking so long?" Clara asked from the living room, while she prepared the home theater.

"He told me he had something to do." She said, while the first 'pops' began. She moved them with a wooden spoon to make sure all of them had butter. "I think he's finally doing something about that crush on Lily."

"I thought Lily had a boyfriend."

"Well, he'll discover soon." She continued, while finished the last preparations for the popcorn.

"AAAAAA!"

After a crashing sound, Maika and Clara ran to the veranda and saw Bruno. Most of his body was charred and he moaned some things. They brought him into the bed and cleaned him with towels.

"I'm okay, I'm okay." He got up and stretched his body.

"What happened?" Clara asked.

"I discovered that Lily is dating that trap Ritsu. That guy has missiles on his breasts."

"Now that's unexpected." Clara commented, "But I have to admit the boy is a charming trap. It must be the hat."

"Alright," Bruno said, taking her hands to the pocket of his pants, "At least I still have the tickets…WHERE ARE THE TICKETS?" Bruno's eyes turned into the size of saucers when he realized the tickets weren't there. He started to undress himself in order to check better all parts of this (Maika and Clara just rolled their eyes and turned around while he did that; Maika eventually gave up and went to tend the popcorn).

After moments of fruitless search, Bruno gave up and faced the situation.

"I wasted a lot of money on that… I just wished to know where it is!"

* * *

><p>"Now I'm in a crossroad." Len said, with his hands on his face. "Neru is going to yell at me if I don't find a gift for her birthday!" then he placed his hands over his hips and continued, "I wouldn't mind too much my birthday, because Rin always got the best presents…But Neru considers this too important… It's not like a solution will crash in my face."<p>

Then Bruno's tickets crashed right on his face.

"Tickets for the Guns n' Roses show?" He glanced aside, "Well, it's not Neru's favorite band, but who cares? I have a gift."

After dashing through the city, he found Neru talking to Rin next to a coffee shop.

"Neru, Neru," he said, panting a bit. After a pause to breath. "Since your birthday is in two days, I decided to make you a surprise." He showed the tickets. "Just for my kitty!" He ended with a wink.

"Len…" Her eyes gleamed with joy, she made no attempt to hide her blush, "Len… You fool!" Then she bashed him with her purse. "You have to give me my gift at my birthday party!" Then she picked the tickets from Len's hands and ran away.

Len remained agape while he massaged the places where Neru hit him. Rin, not wasting the opportunity, quipped, "You just had to damn everything, huh?"

* * *

><p>"Serves you well for trying to buy a woman's love." Clara tsked. "You took it too seriously."<p>

"I was trying to be romantic…"

"Being romantic is taking a step besides your special one, not staying five steps in front of her." Clara said, sounding like she was proffering a court sentence. "C'mon, put back your clothes and let's watch Battle of Gods."

"Excellent!"

After the preparations, Bruno sat down in the chair, ready to relax and to see some action. However the chair started to wiggle. From one rest of the chair, a hand popped out, with a rather distinguished black arm cuff, with red lines. From the other rest of the chair, there was another, and this time it had a knife that blocked any attempt of Bruno to escape.

Maika and Clara watched in shock as the upper head rest popped out revealing the face of Tei Sukone.

"Ha! I finally got you, Bruno!" Tei said. Even though she had her usual manic yandere expression, she moved her arms with a lot of difficulty. But enough to trap Bruno, because the cutting edge was aimed at him.

"But I thought you liked that damned Len!"

"Oh, I need to stalk other people from times to times, or else I get too cliché." Tei explained, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Like, now, I want some Latino blood!" She said and tried to move the knife. No matter how hard she struggled and tried, the knife moved only a little. "Boy, this is extremely uncomfortable…"  
>Maika, with a very bored expression, just walked up to the chair.<p>

"Oh, wait, wait, don't do that!" Tei pleaded. Maika just picked the knife from Tei's hand. "This is a collectible." Then Maika went to the kitchen to put in a drawer.

"Dammit," Tei blew a raspberry, "Okay guys, you won. Now can you take me out?"

"But the movie will start!" Clara said. Her tone of voice was not receptive to other options.

"Hm… Which film will be, at least?" Tei asked, knowing her defeat was complete. Bruno already picked a chair from the kitchen.

"Dragon Ball Z: The Battle of Gods." Maika said. "In Spanish."

"Anything better than that Garbage Pail Kids movie works for me."

* * *

><p><strong>A.N.:<strong> Lily/Ritsu, I have to admit, is a guilty pleasure. Shipping is a guilty pleasure and Lily/Ritsu is a guilty pleasure of a guilty pleasure (plus niki has great songs with them both), so it baffled me the lack of Litsu on . And, also as training for NaNoWriMo, I decided to write some stuff (you can see the trailer for my NaNo project in my dA account). I let some parts vague (like what Ritsu gave to Lily, and what happened before), but it's up to you to imagine. Thanks for SHSLProcrastinator for beta'ing.


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